How are you doing? Did you do anything that makes you happy lately? So, I’ve noticed that you are getting comfortable with him again, even hanging out together though not just by yourselves. This is your sober self writing. I know you are very forgiving and trusting. Those are both your strengths and at the same time weaknesses. You have healed, I can see that. I even think you are back to your old self again, which is really nice.
However, I would like to talk to you about something. Don’t make the same mistake twice. I know that your getting comfortable hanging out with him makes you see the “good” side of him again. It’s nice to see the good side of other people but PLEASE don’t forget his “other” side that you saw also. Please, I don’t want to go through all the emotional abuse again.
He may have changed and that is excellent but please don’t be the guinea pig to know whether he is still toxic or not. Just let him be, let him go…if he would be happy with someone else, then good for them. It means God answered your prayer. Don’t wish to be that girl. You deserve better.
Be strong, be firm. Don’t just do this for yourself. Do this for HER also, and all the other people who have been through what you have. Make your life a testimony, that not everyone who experienced abuse will forever be victims. It is said that a victim goes back to her abuser seven times before she finally says “enough”. Be stronger than that.
Don’t waste this chance to freedom and chance of being in a healthy relationship where you would grow and be loved. You have to thrive, don’t just survive. Keep dreaming. Always remember that everyday is a new day. Always think of what you want to have, not what you had (they were all staged anyway).
Every time you feel like running back to whatever hurt you before, remember me, us. We’ve been through a lot to get us to where we are now. Don’t waste it. Let’s make a better life. Let’s make good choices. Let’s let God bring us to the place He wants us to be. I’m sure it’s not where we were.
All the love,