Before I get back to work, I want to share something. I just came from a Bible study camp-meeting. The focus was on Peter. I’ve heard Peter’s story since I was a child. I knew that he was a sort of leader of the disciples. He’s always with Jesus but in the end he betrayed Him but Jesus still forgave him. I know that story by heart. I’ve also heard of countless sermons about grace and forgiveness.
I heard. I heard them all…but it seems that I have not fully experienced them. Tonight, as I sat there listening, it felt that the message was made exactly for me. For several weeks now, I have been struggling. I know I drifted from God and every once in a while, I would draw close to Him again and with just a minor nudge, I would go my way again. I miss the connection I had with Him before. I wonder if it would ever happen again. The mistakes I did still have control over me very often and I would make up a lot of excuses to justify my deeds. I felt hopeless sometimes. I don’t want to sound dramatic here but that’s the truth.
It’s hard to believe because I was never this way before. But now I am. I promised myself that I would try everything to get connected with God again. I said I would make time in my schedule to attend the camp meetings. I thank God for bringing me there. Now, I desire nothing but to be connected to Him again, to finally be able to say, “here Lord, I am ready. Give me my assignment.”